Archive for Relationships & Love
Loving yourself, doesn’t mean indulging yourself in frequent solitary sexual activity or other indulgences. It means to learn to trust yourself and listen to your inner self. To trust your inner guidance that is your heart. After all, if you don’t trust the messages from your heart, then how can you trust the heart of another?
Love from another won’t make you feel whole if you feel empty inside. You will just find reasons why the person who offers you their heart, is lying or trying to deceive you. If you haven’t learned to receive love from your higher source and instead depend on others, you end up feeling possessive and jealous.
One way to open your heart to higher love that I discovered was through the magic of tantric sex. I’m a white tiger tantra practitioner and through years of practice, I have learned to cultivate and direct the subtle energy that is within me to heal my mind body and spirit. Had I not learned white tiger tantra, I would have maybe been intellectually aware of these forces within and without, but never would have I been able to feel them, nor learn to love fully.
I often say that young children naturally love themselves. They are uninhibited, guilt-free and fully accepting of who they are. It is only as they grow older that they start to develop a “personality” based on the approval or disapproval of those around them. Most people continue through life, layering on the thick, protective shield that is their ego, until they develop dis-ease of the body and mind, inevitably resulting in their death. Having forgotten how to experience bliss, the quality of their lives is greatly compromised.
As Jesus said, “Allow little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” This powerful verse has a deep meaning for me as it symbolizes our spiritual growth as adults, in which we shed our “personalities” and ego, becoming free and spontaneous like children. That is our spiritual path and the path to our highest love.
But how do you find this spontaneity? How do you become free and learn to love? There are several ways and many techniques that I share on this about meditation, cultivating sexual energy and white tiger tantra, all of which can help you develop a greater love for yourself and others.
You may wonder, how can meditation teach me to love myself? It does so by providing clarity of mind, which can help you process your thoughts and perceptions that prevent you from experiencing your sensual self fully. As your mind begins to settle, you begin to attune to your feelings and expand your ability to experience pleasure and love.
As the mind settles, through meditation or trance, you can begin to implement tantric techniques that can further help you learn to love yourself. If you have forgotten how to love yourself or have consciously shut down your heart because of heartache, then you are denying yourself the divine right to experience a higher quality of life. Tantra can help release those resistances from your heart and open you up to loving yourself and others, more deeply and more courageously than ever before.
One day, a man sought the advice of a wise sage. “What is the matter?”, asked the sage. “Please help me.” said the man. “I can’t seem to stop looking at beautiful women! Whenever I see a beautiful woman, I can’t help admiring them and it upsets my wife when she ‘catches’ me. How can I stop this behavior so I don’t hurt her feelings?” The sage thought for a moment and replied,
“Do you want to be able to train your eyes in a way that allows you to catch glimpses of beautiful women, without your wife noticing?”
“No, I guess not. That would be absurd”, chuckled the man.
“When you see a a beautiful flower, do you feel bad admiring it in front of your wife?”
“No. Of course not”, said the man.
“Then you know, it can uplift the both of you!” said the sage.“Admire beautiful women freely and joyfully wherever you go. And if you’re wife doesn’t like it, feel good anyway, because that just means she has her own work to do.”
I think most women have encountered some form of jealousy or envy in their lives, with friends or lovers. In situations like this one, it could go two ways. I could tell myself, “I’m not pretty enough. He doesn’t desire me anymore. I’m going to just sit her and sulk until he feels bad enough and stops that behavior. Only then will i feel better.”
Or I could deliberately choose better feeling thoughts. “That woman is beautiful. I can see how he would find her attractive. I find her attractive too. His desire for her does not compromise his desire for me. I’m attractive too. My husband loves variety. It feels good to me seeing my husband light up. It must feel as good to her being admired by my husband, as it does to me, when he admires me. I remember the times he looked at me, the way he’s looking at her” etc.
And that’s what taking relationship responsibility means to me.
Let me illustrate this another way.
I was raised to believe that children must honor and respect their parents. I’ve always had a hard time with “shoulds”. They feel restrictive and to me, they come from a sense of “obligation” rather than inspiration. So, how can you “honor” and “respect” someone when what they are expressing to you is a lack of “self-respect”? After all, if a person knows their true value, they would never feel the need to ask anyone else to justify it for them.
This woman didn’t know her own value, nor did she understand that it wasn’t her husband’s responsibility to make her feel good about herself. In the same way, her husband didn’t understand that sacrificing his own pleasure meant that he was holding himself responsible for his wife’s happiness. But how can a person teach another about happiness, if they themselves aren’t an example of it?
The trouble with many relationships arises when one or both parties try to appease the other, rather then teach them about empowering themselves. This dynamic happens in all kinds of relationships, whether it is intimate, parent-child, employee-boss, friends etc. Somewhere, someone is leaning into someone else for support. But relationships are fickle and when one person decides to step out of the way, we run the risk of tumbling over and then we will be crying out to others to pick us up and kiss our bruises. As children, we learned this. As adults, it’s about time we dusted ourselves off, stood on our own two feet and took responsibility for our own well-being.
And that just means we have to first learn to let go of trying to control another person’s actions, thoughts and emotions. Let go of trying to mold and shape ourselves into the vision of another, if it wasn’t our vision to begin with. Let go of seeking approval from others. Let go of placating others into well-being. Take care of our own well-being, by focusing on thoughts that bring us more joy. But most importantly, we could remind ourselves that every situation, no matter how hopeless can give us the opportunity to find our bliss.
“When you follow your bliss, doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors, and where there wouldn’t be a door for anyone else.”- Joseph Campbell
“The relationship between men and women has baffled and confused philosophers, scientists and thinkers throughout the ages. Sexuality is a dance that spans the history of all societies. It is a ritual that has preoccupied the activities of humankind throughout the aeons and still has present cultures in a quandary.
For something that existed for so long and has been a part of everyone’s life throughout history, one would think that humanity would have some expertise on the subject of sexuality. Yet to this very day, our sexual relationships continue to daze and confuse the spirit of people in profound ways. On the one hand, they create passion, love, ignite romance and pleasure and spark the flames of desire that make life worth living. But on the other hand, sexuality is also a source of destruction and negativity that are the causes of a myriad of problems in society. Sex is a creative force that moves through the body, feeding the emotions and thoughts and creating the impulse of desire. It is pleasure in its raw and unrefined states. If that energy is not understood and used in the right way, it is the cause of dissatisfaction, destruction and overall unhappiness in our lives. As the basic duality of man and woman, day and night, sexual energy can be the source of both pain and pleasure.
Sexuality is like the force of fire. When used intelligently, it enhances our lives immensely. With fire that can warm our houses, cook our food and bring light into dark rooms. But if we use fire in the wrong way, for example, putting it on the roof instead of in the fireplace, it will inevitably burn the whole house down. The fire itself is not evil or even bad, it is merely a force that needs to be directed in a positive way. The same applies with sexuality; if we use it correctly, it brings us unbelievable pleasure, but if we let this energy run wild without guidance or understanding, it has the potential to destroy our physical and emotional lives.
Not only is there an overall dissatisfaction with sex in our everyday relationships, but we are faced with the malicious acts of rape, abuse and violence. The number of problems in society that revolve around the topic of sexuality is monumental. The echoing question of how to use this energy in a positive way can be heard throughout the world.
In the tradition of Taoism, sex was seen in an altogether different context than in the West. Rather than being the great sin, sexual energy was considered a path toward health and vitality and a way to connect intimately with the divine. That divinity is seen as a state of wholeness and completeness that is implicit in all of us.
In the traditions of the East, man and woman represent opposite halves of that universal whole. Each is an earthly manifestation of the cosmic creative forces -yin and yang, feminine and masculine, Heaven and Earth -whose intermingling brings forth all phenomena. When man and woman unite in sex, Heaven and Earth are joined.”
Sexual Reflexology: Activating The Taoist Points Of Love
by: Mantak Chia and William U. Wei
I occasionally do a ritual to cut any unhealthy connections that bind me to other people, through what Huna mysticism refers to as the aka cords. These etheric threads of energy, allow us to form close bonds and communicate unconsciously with one another across time and space…
The Cords Of Intimacy
People who are deeply and intimately involved have thicker cords connecting them. It’s why people who’ve been together a really long time, often know unconsciously what the other is thinking or feeling without them saying anything, let alone being in the same location. And over the years, what we come to know as soul mates are people so deeply attached, they become as one soul residing in two bodies or more.
Only people with whom you share a close and loving relationship or those you trust with your heart to care, in offering you only the purest of thoughts and energies are worth staying connected to in my opinion.. But there aren’t so many people with really pure intentions or thoughts, so sometimes it’s best to disconnect, atleast for a little while, while you regain your strength and personal power. Then, there are types who play with those ‘heart strings’ becoming energy vampires and slowly sapping away at your life force. They are usually just lonely and insatiable souls, looking for someone or something to fill their emptiness. The effect that may have on you, is that you may feel suddenly overwhelmed and exhausted without any physical or emotional cause.
Sometimes you may feel like your mind is running a mile a minute and fleeting images of people you’ve come across in your day-to-day interactions or from your past arise. You can usually pinpoint the draining source, by closing your eyes, entering into a meditative state and observing closely the face or faces of the people that appear. You may discover that you are still carrying the residual energy from an ex-lover or even your own mother. In which case, disconnecting the cords and a thorough cleansing of your chakras can quickly resolve that.
Thoughts Connect Us
The aka or energy cords connect us to all things in this universe. When you think a thought about someone, you send out one of these cords which is why it’s important to be mindful of the thoughts you think. You could be randomly sending very negative energy to someone, a form of black magick, causing harm unto them unintentionally. People capture the thoughts others communicate unconsciously, because they are like radio transmitters, sending and receiving vibrations all around them . If you’re energy is out of balance, that can be transferred to someone like a virus, which is why I always say you’ve got to clean up your environment before connecting with others. And if you’ve attracted one of those psychic leeches, you may become one to those you connect with by mere association.
I know this may all sound a little crazy. After all, you’ve come across countless number of people in your life, so how can you possibly disconnect from all of them? Well, you don’t necessarily have to, because over time, the cords begin to fade, particularly if it’s someone you haven’t thought about in a really long time or someone you never had a strong connection with to begin with. But then, there were times in your life where you did develop a closeness with someone who may not have had the best of intentions. Maybe they broke your heart or betrayed you and you’re still lugging their energy around. If you think about them and you feel a pain or tension in your body, that’s a pretty sure sign you’ve got cords attached.
The Aura & Cutting Cords
Sometimes when i look at a person’s aura, I can see strings of what looks like spaghetti, cords going left, right, every which way. And it’s particularly evident around people with one too many sexual exploits, where their aura becomes tainted with what others have left behind. Sexual energy, is the most powerful human force. If misused with hidden motives or to indulge one’s selfish primal nature, it can leave behind a slew of toxic impurities, causing some people’s auras to become darkened and polluted cesspools, as opposed to the energy of a fresh mountain spring. I’m not suggesting by any means that sex is impure, it’s just that we’ve got to become aware of the energy we transfer and that which we capture.
There are different methods to cutting the chords. I will usually send off a blast of energy to whoever I was attached to, filling them with white or blue light of unconditional love and healing, before I imagine the cord dissolving. For further instructions on how to disconnect the cords, check out my post healing you is healing me
Another effective tool that helps the disconnection process is to learn to enter into deep trance or meditative states, which naturally amplify the imagination, leading to clearer mental pictures and a more visceral experience.
On a final note, I highly recommend chakra cleansing as a part of a healthy spiritual diet.That way you are sure to be running your own energy and not someone else’s.
I hope someone can help me, please. There’s this man/acquaintance who one day just captured my gaze with his and he held my gaze, it was magical, I felt energy rush up and down my body. He was definitely projecting Eros because, telepathically, I got it loud and clear. I was mesmerized, it stunned me. So, now he’s always on my mind. I can feel his presence all the time. It’s a very loving, highly erotic, warm feeling (hot) and I’ve had it on me for weeks and weeks now. Okay, here are weirder things: I can feel his presence, I telepathically receive messages from him often, it’s very intense.
Problem is, I’m already in a relationship (married). No, I never felt anything even close to that with my husband, nothing. (we tried soul gazing a few times but no real change, maybe it’s subtle, really, really subtle) But, now what do I do? How do I cut the chord with the guy who did the soul gazing with me? How do I reverse soul gazing? Please help… I hope you can help me..I have already performed the usual way of cutting chords, I imagined any attachments just cut off from me. I’ve gone to an energy healer (maybe I need to go to more), I imagined (one by one, at different times) stainless steel, one way mirrors and white light surrounding me and protecting me, keeping me safe from it but no, I can still feel intense love being radiated to me from that man and so far it has surpassed any type of protection I had put up. I don’t know what else to do…
I took the liberty of posting your question on my blog for my readers, because I think there are many people who have experienced similar issues with soul-gazing or eye-gazing and may not know what to do about it.
So I was curious about some things, after reading your story. First of all, whether the man you soul-gazed with is currently part of your life? Do you see him on a regular basis? My second question is, how did you soul-gaze? It’s important to know whether or not it was just someone with whom you shared a lingering gaze or if this was someone who consciously knew what he was doing, as he was instructing you to follow in his lead. My third question, which may seem a little strange to you, but bear with me…
Do you really, I mean REALLY want to disconnect those chords?
So now you may be thinking, ‘well of course i want to disconnect the chords! I’ve been to energy healers, I tried shielding, one-way mirrors and what not, but nothing seems to help. So help!’
But, my intuition is telling me there’s another side to this story, that may be keeping your chords attached to this man…
On the one hand, just thinking of him gets you hot, turned on, stimulated and excited, like you have never been before… On the other hand, your mind begins protesting adamantly. After all, being you are a married woman and God forbid anyone other than your husband were to create such a rouse in you, right? So, what we’ve just uncovered here is a classic case of “Forbidden Fruit Syndrome”. I just made that up
Now, here’s where your husband comes in or doesn’t for that matter. So to me it looks as though you are trying to get the best of both worlds by attempting to recreate what lies in one person, in another. I know this is going to sound a bit brash, but I figure i should just tell you the truth. Your husband, does not and will NEVER command the same energy as the man you soul-gazed with. Which brings me to my next question…
Can you live with that?
I mean knowing what you now know about how you can feel with someone, can you see yourself out in the future looking at your husband as he is and still be ok with the connection you do have? Or will your mind keep wandering back to what you once had, with someone else? Don’t get me wrong. There are ways you can go about intensifying and electrifying the connection with your current partner, that doesn’t include an outsider. Check out some of my posts about White Tiger Tantra. It has helped many people, including myself, build deeper intimacy with their partner(s) and transform their sex lives from lukewarm to sizzling..something to think about.
Now, go back and think about some of the questions that I’ve asked you. They are important and may make or break those chords, so to speak. That is if you decide you want that.
In the meantime, I felt i should leave you with a little insight about soul-gazing. You may meet a lot of people claiming they can put you under their spell, binding you with a single gaze. Actually, they can and that is why you’ve got to be selective about who you let in, because some people use these powerful tools to manipulate, misuse others, or to inflate their insecure egos. That’s ok, if you’re into that. However, soul-gazing is a means to connecting with what the Celts describe as your “Anam Cara”, which means “friend of the soul”. If you’re just doing it with some random guy looking for a quick lay, chances are neither of you are doing it right. In fact, you are both opening yourselves up to all kinds of forces and psychic disturbances. Soul-gazing is meant to open up gateways to spiritual understandings about one, in the other. It isn’t so much about the erotic energy. Also, you can be sure to be safe knowing that any competent teacher will absolutely, unequivocally show you how to properly detach from your partner AFTER soul-gazing, (even if it’s with your husband), by disconnecting the chords and chakra cleansing. That way, you are running your energy and not someone else’s.
You say that you tried various methods in disconnecting the chords, but nothing has helped. You tried shielding with white light but as you say it has surpassed any type of psychic protection you put up. That is like saying, “two bees are stinging me”, then running into the house and shutting the door. You’ve got to remove the stingers before protecting yourself. And how do you remove the chords? Well, if you’re really serious about making a change, I can do nothing more for you, than direct you to someone who I absolutely trust to be one of the most powerful, skilled and effective healers I’ve ever come across. He is a Shamanic Healer and a Master Hypnotist (from San Diego, CA), who actually specializes in heart retrievals and soul-gazing. I have to warn you. He’s very busy and only works with highly motivated clients, who are committed to change. And if you’re not, he can help you find out. If this is something that might interest you, email me and I will direct you from there.
Do you ever notice how people who don’t have a clear direction and purpose in life latch on for dear life to those who do? Albert Einstein says, “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
There is a friend of mine, who literally starts leaning into me when we are walking side-by-side. To avoid falling over, I have to speed up my pace and lead the way. She is totally unconscious of this behavior and what it tells me is that she ties herself to people, not her goals. In fact, the other day I did a little experiment. We made plans to go out to eat at a local restaurant, a few blocks away from our place of work. Knowing perfectly well that she could have easily made it on her own, I decided that I would give her the opportunity to lead the way. As we strolled along side each other, we engaged in conversation, but I did however notice that she was taking us in the opposite direction, farther and farther away from our destination. We ended up walking around in circles, until it dawned on her that she had lost her way.
And now, take this scenario and apply it to intimate relationships. Two people’s eyes meet. They are filled with a fuzzy warm feeling inside. They haven’t even negotiated the boundaries and direction of the relationship. Yet, what keeps them together is the tireless pursuit of recreating that initial positive experience. Their lover triggers a chemical response in them that temporarily fulfills an emotional need. It’s kind of like the relationship that a junkie has to heroine. The initial high is always the best and from that point on, their entire lives become centered on reliving that primary experience. So many relationships are founded on this addiction mentality. There is no movement, no growth. There are no goals and the stagnant waters of love grow polluted over time. It is like waltzing on one spot, until even that slows to a halt and the only thing left to do is separate.
Suppose your partner does have a goal that he/she wants to explore polyamorous relationships. Suppose you’re not sure of what you want. You accept his/her decision to be with other partners, but you’re not convinced this is the life for you. Yet, you choose to passively follow along, because “He who holds the strongest frame, controls that environment”, says Steve P (White Tiger Tantra). In other words, the one who’s goal is set, leads the way, if the other chooses to follow. If that person has become a source to feed your emotional addictions you may go wherever they go, no matter where they take you. As long as they can trigger that warm and fuzzy feeling inside you once in a while. This to me is called emotional and spiritual starvation. It’s someone who chooses to live off crumbs, because they are too incompetent or lazy to turn their attention away from what is happening on the “outside” and start digging for the nourishing abundance, that lies within.
There are many people who settle for what doesn’t make them happy, because they lack a sense of abundance in their lives. You might think, well if I had more money, success and love, I would feel abundant. And that’s where you’re wrong. It’s the other way around. You will have more money, success and love, IF and only IF you feel abundant. So, how does one go about feeling abundant, especially within the boundaries of a relationship? First, I believe it requires that you break the emotional addiction behavior that causes you to constantly “extract happiness” from the other person. It means, working on yourself, by purifying and grounding your energies. I talk about grounding energies in the Tantric Energy Balancing Exercise, because when we are not anchored within ourselves, through our root chakra, we are like free-floating bubbles, vulnerable to being popped with the lightest of pressure. When our root chakra is balanced, we are centered, grounded, energetic, but most importantly, we can manifest a sense of abundance.
Abundance is an energy that I’ve discovered can be generated through the power of imagination. If you have the energy of a slug in a puddle, you can use sexual energy, as described in the White Tiger Tantra Heart Meditation, to charge up and launch a new wave of thought patterns. You may start by visualizing or imagining all the things that you are grateful for in your life, until you create a feeling. The feeling of abundance. It may be almost imperceptible at first and that is because you’ve trained yourself for so long to feel bad, that you body and your emotions are pretty much now on auto-pilot. So breaking the habit of negativity may seem like it’s a tedious task, but hey isn’t it better than always depending on the outside world to provide your emotional needs for you? To me, that’s being a slave to circumstances, because at any moment in time, your source of emotional satisfaction can be taken away from you and then what are you left with?Actually, you are left with everything. You just don’t recognize it yet.
If you are having a hard time generating the “feeling” of abundance. A quick route would be to practice mantras. Mantras are energy-based sounds that stimulate the chakras of our bodies. In Hindu philosophy, the names of deities can also be called upon and each one has a different role. Lakshmi, is the Goddess of wealth and abundance, both material and spiritual. The word ‘Lakshmi’ comes from the Sanskrit word Laksme, which means “goal.” Lakshmi, therefore, represents the goal of life, which includes material and spiritual abundance. Her mantra is “Om Maha Lakshmiyei Swaha”. She is also represented by the seed mantra “Shreem”, which by repeating it can give you a better ability to manifest reality. So choose your thoughts carefully. And know that you have successfully created abundance, when you feel you have so much, with so little.
“Shifting your life from the pursuit of happiness to an expression of joyfulness is what needs to happen if relationships have to really work, on all levels”-Sadhguru
Back in the 80′s, the Hare Krishnas devised a plan on how they could influence more people to give them donations. Wearing ill-fitted robes, beads and bells, while chanting in unison and begging for funds, seemed to alienate most people. The average American considered the Krishnas fairly weird and were reluctant when it came to supporting them. So the Krishnas devised a plan that would make it very difficult for any person to refuse a donation request.
The new strategy still included solicitation of the public at airports or train stations, however the only difference was that before the donation was requested, the passersby would be given a “gift”, such as a book or a flower. The oblivious targets would under no circumstances be allowed to return the gifts, which basically aimed to fill them with a feeling obligation to return the favor in kind, by offering them a donation. Nowadays, people have mastered the ability to dodge unrequested offerings.
Reciprocity & Friendship
“Sure, I’ll help you move!”, says flakey friend….which is immediately followed by “Hey, by the way, can I borrow your car for the weekend?”
Do you feel obliged to reciprocate? If you do, you might have a “Friend with stipulations”. They are those, who have lost the art of giving, because it was superseded with their greed of take. They are “takers” disguised as givers. True friends don’t have to keep score of what they do for one or another.
A real giver will emit a different vibe…
When they offer you something, it fills their hearts with joy knowing that your needs are met and that is sufficient for them. They aren’t competing with you to match what they ask of you, in value, with what you ask of them. Their generosity can be felt wholeheartedly. You don’t have to second guess what will be the price of asking them for help, because you know that they would go out of their way to give you the shirts off their backs, when they might potentially freeze. And because their love and generosity is undivided, you can’t help but reciprocate, not because you HAVE to, but because you WANT to.
“I don’t give more than I take, nor do I take more than I need.” -Steve P., White Tiger Tantra
I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel very uncomfortable and downright pissed off, when I’m sitting and enjoying a pleasant lunch with my female companions, when suddenly someone blurts out “I hate men”, “all men are pigs”, “men are cheaters” etc.
or…my favorite one is “why can’t men be more like…”
Are you kidding me? That’s the PROBLEM! While the rise of feminism was an asset in many ways, for creating new opportunities for women in the workforce, i fear that it has created a demasculinization of men in our society.
And I suspect that the rise of effeminate men, has developed as a response to the female pursuit of the illusion we call “equality”…a way for men to accommodate women, so that they themselves don’t lose their most valuable source of pleasure…
While it is unfortunate that women have historically gone through the many perils that undermined their value in society, I personally do not feel that my sex is a determinant of my success in life, in any way. The only thing that will ever stop me from breaking through the glass ceiling would be my own beliefs about what I can or cannot do. Plain and simple.
What about when it comes to relationships? I meet countless numbers of women who talk about how men mistreat women, yet they themselves address their male partners with the same respect, as the family dog. Just look at commercials and you’ll find nothing but dumb and incompetent men “running into glass doors, trying in vain to outsmart an air freshener, eating the inedible or falling down for no reason whatsoever”, while self-righteous, independent and disenchanted women, roll their eyes…A look that says “See? I told ya so!”
Need a visual? Here’s one for your viewing disgust. lol.
So, when is this passive aggressive feminist retaliation going to END, in our society? When ALL men are castrated?
Whatever happened to just being human?
Glad to have taken this off my chest. Fortunately for me, I have the honor of being in a relationship with a man who has not been tainted and bent out of his masculine shape, by the uproar of women, unjustly treated.
He knows who he is and where he is going…the profile of a leader and to me, the ultimate male companion. One whom, I would not hesitate for a minute to follow, because it is in my feminine nature to do so.
Thank you for reading and I hope this stimulates much debate.
The way I would describe a tantric relationship is one in which the concept of separation is totally dissolved. The “I” and the “me” is no longer when there is a total alignment of energies between partners.
Living in a society where individualism is highly regarded as opposed to a collectivist outlook makes it so that most people don’t wish for the absolution of their individual selves, when they enter into a union of love with another.
But in any relationship, whether tantric or not contains an interplay of energies that can either work in your favor to draw your partner to you or away from you. Like the two complementary opposing poles of a magnet. One way they can bond together and the strength of the bond is more powerful then the one magnet holds by itself, being solo. The other way with the opposing poles, no matter how much you try to jam them together, they will never connect.
This my friends is the difference between a relationship of power versus force.
Beyond the intellect, there is a notion of the fine dance of the energies. When we are in harmony, is it not true that it is hard to tell the difference between the dancer and the dance? When one can set themselves alone or with a partner, whom the Celts would refer to as an “Anam Cara” or “friend of the soul”, one can take the time, in the time that one has, to set aside and embrace the moment of now… Soul-Gazing into one another. Seeing, feeling and hearing the other as oneself…or so they say.
Always enter into a union of this nature with energy that is balanced and pure of thought…Never forceful. Again, this is the difference between getting to do something and having to do something.
While many people think that the opposite of love is hate. Nothing could be further from the truth. Love and hate both hold strong bonds. One comes from a positive polarity, while the other comes from a negative polarity and lest we forget that the laws of the universe clearly state that what we put in through our thoughts in any meditation, comes back to us four-fold.
This begs the intellectual to question, what then is the opposite of this complementary opposite we call love and hate?