Back in the 80′s, the Hare Krishnas devised a plan on how they could influence more people to give them donations. Wearing ill-fitted robes, beads and bells, while chanting in unison and  begging for funds, seemed to alienate most people. The average American considered the Krishnas fairly weird and were reluctant when it came to supporting them. So the Krishnas devised a plan that would make it very difficult for any person to refuse a donation request.

It’s called the reciprocity rule.

The new strategy still included solicitation of the public at airports or train stations, however the only difference was that before the donation was requested, the passersby would be given a “gift”, such as a book or a flower. The oblivious targets would under no circumstances be allowed to return the gifts, which basically aimed to fill them with a feeling obligation to return the favor in kind, by offering them a donation. Nowadays, people have mastered the ability to dodge unrequested offerings.

Reciprocity & Friendship

“Sure, I’ll help you move!”, says flakey friend….which is immediately followed by “Hey, by the way, can I borrow your car for the weekend?”

Do you feel obliged to reciprocate? If you do, you might have a “Friend with stipulations”. They are those, who have lost the art of giving, because it was superseded with their greed of take. They are “takers” disguised as givers. True friends don’t have to keep score of what they do for one or another.

A real giver will emit a different vibe…
When they offer you something, it fills their hearts with joy knowing that your needs are met and that is sufficient for them. They aren’t competing with you to match what they ask of you, in value, with what you ask of them. Their generosity can be felt wholeheartedly. You don’t have to second guess what will be the price of asking them for help, because you know that they would go out of their way to give you the shirts off their backs, when they might potentially freeze. And because their love and generosity is undivided, you can’t help but reciprocate, not because you HAVE to, but because you WANT to.

“I don’t give more than I take, nor do I take more than I need.” -Steve P., White Tiger Tantra